New border wall now totally impermeable to everything except 2×6″ bricks of every drug known to man

Is it just me or does that wall seem like it’s full of holes? Not just a few here and there. I mean like hundreds of thousands of pretty permeable slats. Here we have the assistant director of DHS Seema B. Passthrough extolling the virtues of their newest wall.

“Let us be clear. We invited Spider-Man and countless superheros to get over this wall. Sure, they all made it because of their superpowers so that didn’t work out so well. But let me be even more clear. We provided magnetic grappling hooks to rock-climbing professionals and fine, they got over too.

“But let me be crystal clear, we even allowed regular little Mexican fellas to go to their local balloon stores and get a bunch of helium balloons. Well, they kinda got over too but it wasn’t easy and their landing wasn’t that smooth, but at least nobody got hurt”

“Maybe I haven’t been clear. We invited Scotty from Star Trek to see if he could get through. Apparently, the transporter room was unavailable because it was being spray bleached with COVID-19 and all, so he couldn’t get over at all. Well, actually he screamed at them, said, “Captain, she can’t no more” , beamed him up and put him on the other side. Yeah, that sucked.”

To demonstrate to all the reporters just how impermeable this new wall was, she took a cinder block and repeatedly tried pushing it through the slats. Try as she could, beaming ear to ear, she failed miserably. When asked if she would try something a bit smaller like a regular sized red brick, she snapped back, “Why should it be red? Native Americans need to be respected, loved, cherished and not ridiculed. We reject racism!”

And just like that, the meeting was adjourned.