Alyssa Milano releases line of crocheted body armor for police

Also protects against COVID-19, 20, 21, and any other diseases created and spread by Orange Man!


Actress, activists, and self proclaimed genius Alyssa Milano has already made her mark by being part of the #MetooSometimes Movement and, of course, entertainment. Her most recent project was crocheted masks with supposed filters that might protect from the Wuhan virus. While crochet goggles might be in the works, as it turns out eye protection is as important as internal CO2 increasing devices, Milano has decided to put her talents to another issue: gun control.

Alyssa Milano Body Armor is a crochet suit of protection from the bullets of those evil assault weapons everyone is talking about. While protection from COVID-19 will require a carbon filter, the gaps in crochet are too small for the bullets from modern firearms to go through and cause their harm. The armor comes in several shapes, sizes and colors and can be adjusted for any gender.

Michael Bloomberg is financing the project with almost as much money as he spent losing the Democratic nomination for 2020 against Joe YouAintBlack Biden.

Local officials, who have already used other gun reducing tactics such as red flag laws are taking part in the project. Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer is planning an AR-15 for Milano Body Armor Swap Program.
Mayor Bill DeBlasio is requiring Jews to wear yellow Crochet Milano Body Armor.

Even red states are taking part in the action. The Arkansas State Police Department, under the order of Enhanced Carry advocate Governor Asa Hutchinson, is requiring anyone carrying a weapon to wear Milano Body Armor, amending Arkansas Act 746 which before allowed for Arkansas Constitutional Carry. The Milano Body Armor system may have other uses too. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is drafting a bill that would require Milano Body Armor for cows to prevent Methane Gas levels.

You can check Milano Body Armor and other restrictions/infringements on your 2nd Amendment rights by contacting your local officials.


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