Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
BREAKING: Boeing 737 Plane Exempted From Safety Regulations After Coming Out As Black And Gay
In a groundbreaking revelation that has left the aviation industry buzzing, a Boeing 737 plane has bravely come out as...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Defense Secretary Austin receives 50 more commendations and ribbons for being out sick last week
In a stunning display of valor and resilience, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has added a staggering 50 new commendations and...
‘I was fired for being black’ complains woman who was hired for being black
HARVARD—In a tale that defies the very essence of logic and leaves the world scratching its collective head, Claudine Gay...
BREAKING: Feds host January 6 ‘reunion party’ with special guest Ray Epps
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI are hosting a January 6 reunion party with special guest Ray Epps to commemorate their insurrection. Today...
Jimmy Kimmel denies getting moob surgery on Epstein Island
HOLLYWOOD—In the latest episode of the surreal sitcom that is Jimmy Kimmel's life, the late-night funnyman finds himself at the...
BREAKING: Colorado Supreme Court Votes To Remove Bill Clinton From Epstein Client List
DENVER—In a groundbreaking decision that has legal scholars and conspiracy theorists alike scratching their heads, the Colorado Supreme Court has...
BREAKING: Trump Indicted For Never Visiting Epstein Island
NEW YORK—In an unexpected turn of events, former President Donald Trump has been indicted on charges of never visiting Jeffrey...
Suicide Hotline volunteer shocked when Hillary Clinton tried to ‘place an order’
A volunteer for the New York Metro Suicide Hotline service was shocked when she received a call from former Secretary...
Claudine Gay hired as Xerox CEO citing extensive experience in copying things
In a move that has both baffled and amused the business world, Former Harvard President Claudine Gay has been appointed...
Clinton: ‘I didn’t have sex with any sex slaves on Epstein’s island…the 26 times I flew there on his plane’
Former President Bill Clinton denied knowing anything about the “terrible crimes” allegedly committed by billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein. In a...
