California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
California reports that they could know who won the governor primary by sometime early 2028 
Talarico: ‘Preborn Babies Are Like Tapeworms and Have No Rights Unless They’re Trans, In Which Case, They Deserve to Live’ 
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee 
Statue of Obama Performing an Abortion on Lady Liberty Unveiled at the Obama Presidential Library 
I’d Rather Have a Thermonuclear World War with Kamala Harris Than World Peace Under Trump
As the most intersectionally progressive person in the world, a transwoman trapped inside the body of a transman, I’ve seen...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
JUST IN: Kamala Harris reassures Hurricane victims that she was the first VP to tour an abortion facility
In an emotional press conference today, Vice President Kamala Harris offered comfort to the victims of Hurricane Helene by reminding...
BREAKING: Florida chooses possible starvation over vegan meats as Hurricane Milton approaches
Grocery shelves across Florida are closing up shop in preparation for a category 5 hurricane Milton. The ones that are...
AOC: ‘These poor pumpkins have been drained of their spice by illegal poachers; this needs to stop!’
I don't know who needs to hear it, but pumpkin spice poaching is not okay. I just visited a field...
BREAKING: Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached the US
Hot on the heals of the dual plagues of COVID-19 and the Asian murder hornets, Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached...
BREAKING: Buttigieg requires all vehicles bringing aid to hurricane victims to be electric cars
In a bold and forward-thinking move that has left disaster relief teams scrambling, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has announced that...
BREAKING: Truckers sneak hurricane relief into North Carolina by disguising aid as ‘Illegal Immigrants’ to outwit federal roadblocks
CHARLOTTE, NC — In a brazen display of disrespect to federal agencies, truckers across the U.S. have joined forces to...
Liz Cheney endorses Kamala Harris: ‘She will bomb countries I haven’t even thought of yet’
In a shocking twist that has sent shockwaves through the political universe and possibly several foreign nations, former Wyoming congresswoman...
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Kamala Harris enrolls all victims of Hurricane Helene in the Jelly of the Month Club
In a move that has left hurricane victims across North Carolina both confused and sticky-handed, Vice President Kamala Harris announced...
BREAKING: Harris reassures North Carolina hurricane victims that the US will be donating another $200 billion to Ukraine in their name
AUGUSTA, GA—In a deeply emotional press conference today, Vice President Kamala Harris addressed the people of North Carolina who are...
