California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
California reports that they could know who won the governor primary by sometime early 2028 
Talarico: ‘Preborn Babies Are Like Tapeworms and Have No Rights Unless They’re Trans, In Which Case, They Deserve to Live’ 
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee 
Statue of Obama Performing an Abortion on Lady Liberty Unveiled at the Obama Presidential Library 
Kamala Harris closes Pennsylvania rally by sacrificing six babies to Moloch
PHILADELPHIA — In a dramatic finale to her rally in the swing state of Pennsylvania, Vice President Kamala Harris shocked...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Lizzo threatens to eat anyone who doesn’t vote for Kamala Harris
In an unexpected political move, Grammy-winning artist Lizzo announced that she will personally consume anyone who does not cast their...
BREAKING: Following interview, Brett Baier declares Harris has won Arizona
After waiting more than three and a half years, Fox News finally secured a rare, coveted interview with Vice President...
BREAKING: Mark Cuban denies that he’s Rosie O’Donnell and Rachel Maddow’s lesbian love child
Dallas, TX — Billionaire entrepreneur and owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, has publicly denied persistent rumors that he...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris fires her speechwriter Jar Jar Binks
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising shake-up within the Harris-Walz 2024 campaign, Vice President Kamala Harris has officially parted ways...
Harris Promises That Any Americans Who Die In WWIII Won’t Have To Repay Their Student Loans
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following President* Biden's plan, Vice President* Kamala Harris has assured the public that any U.S. citizens who...
HISTORIC: Jimmy Carter Becomes First Deceased President to Vote for Kamala Harris in 2024
PLAINS, GA — In a stunning and unprecedented act of civic participation, former President Jimmy Carter has become the first...
Netflix releases new documentary: Christopher Columbus: the First African American
LOS ANGELES — In a bold reimagining of history, Netflix announced the release of its latest documentary, Christopher Columbus: The...
Elizabeth Warren takes 1/1024th of the day off to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
Kamala Harris sacrifices 666 innocent people to Aztec sun god to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day instead of that evil Columbus Day
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold and historic gesture, Vice President Kamala Harris marked this year’s Indigenous People’s Day with a dazzling...
