COLUMBUS, OH—Taking advantage of Ohio’s legalization of abortion and marijuana, Planned Parenthood is now offering a bag of weed with every abortion.
Planned Parenthood Spokeswoman Ikyll Yakiddes was over the moon with the spike in women’s healthcare.
“When those 2 bills passed, I thought, how can we maximize the brilliance of Ohio’s voters and make a ton of dough? Easy, think ‘Happy Meal.’ Corporations make millions of dollars with those gimmicky giveaways.”
The promotion is a hit. Young women are lining up around the building waiting to get their “healthcare ” and a bag of weed.
“This is a perfect example of Win-Win!” Ohio Health Secretary Hugh Jennix said proudly. “Now people can get stoned out of their mind and have very little idea of what’s happening when they’re killing their baby!”