Portland ups the ante: 2 free hits of crack with vaccine card

PORTLAND, OR—The City of Portland is upping the crack rock ante in its COVID-19 vaccine push, doubling the number of free hits on the addictive crack pipe that vaccinated customers can receive.

City health officials announced Wednesday that it will give residents who have gotten at least one vaccination shot two free hits of crack every day as part of a weeklong promotion.

Vaccinated residents can get an original round rock, along with a “Hunter Biden Special” heart-shaped rock, as part of the city’s “Show Your Heart” campaign, which runs from Monday to Sept.

Portland had announced its original crack giveaway aimed at boosting vaccination rates back in March, vowing to give a free hit of crack away every day through 2021 to anyone showing proof of having received at least one shot.

Health officials said Wednesday that they had promoted health by giving away more than 2.5 million hits of crack cocaine in the last five months through the effort.

“We need people to be healthy, and if they require the incentive of a little crack rock to be healthy, then we’re all for it,” Obese crack-addict and City Health Director Dirk Chubbs said.

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