WORLD—Rabbis from around the world have signed onto a letter stating that wearing three masks will guarantee you a seat in the Garden of Eden.

The letter states in part, “Wearing one mask or two masks is acceptable and in accordance with Jewish Law, but it is not the ideal. All members of the Jewish faith should strive to wear three masks, which represent our Forefathers – Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. For then they will surely bask in G-D’s greatness, and are guaranteed a seat in the Garden of Eden, next to Moses Our Teacher, may he rest in peace.”

According to Jewish tradition, there is another existence or afterlife after death – a kind of spiritual existence. The righteous will be sent to the Garden of Eden, which is the Jewish version of Paradise. The wicked, however, will be sent to Hell or Purgatory, where they will suffer for their lifelong wickedness and misdeeds.

“Jewish literature is very clear on this,” a local Rabbi said. “Triple-masking is the highest form of holiness and purity that a person can achieve in this world. It will wipe away all your sins; it will expunge any evil decrees against you; it will be a source of blessing to you and your family, and so much more. And you can’t even imagine all the rewards for quadruple-masking, but that’s a discussion for a different time.”

The same Rabbis later confirmed that walking outside with a helmet and hazmat suit will give you an additional seat in the Garden of Eden.

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Rafi Metz

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