Sting now homeless after The Police are defunded
LONDON—Musician Sting is the latest victim of the “Defund the Police” movement.
“The Police need to be cancelled” said activist Jessica Weinstein. “People of color live in terror that The Police could come on the radio at any moment.”
Across the nation, peaceful protestors broke into CD stores to steal and destroy all Police albums.
“We’re going to burn down rock radio stations when we’re done with the monuments,” said Weinstein. “We can’t allow them to support fascism.”
The anti-Police protests spread to Sting’s London home, where peaceful protestors firebombed the singer’s mansion.
Sting was able to escape out the front door. The 68 year old easily fought his way through dozens of the Antifa mob.
Activists managed to get Sting’s personal bank account frozen by threatening to call the bank racist if they didn’t do so. Sting has been completely defunded.
Reporters found him living in a box in East London singing his greatest hits on the sidewalk for spare change.
“I love this song,” said a masked rioter as he passed by without giving Sting any money. “ROOOOOOXANNE!”
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