Brave local man cuts off his penis so that other men won’t rape people with theirs
SPRINGFIELD—A brave local man, Hugh Janus, has cut off his penis so that other men won't rape people. This follows...
Joe Biden
Biden: ‘The most important thing for Israelis and Palestinians to do is to get vaccinated’
Washington, DC—In an unexpected twist of diplomacy, President Biden, while addressing the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict, offered a unique perspective: "The...
BREAKING: East Palestine, OH changes name to Palestine to get Biden to visit
EAST PALESTINE, OH—In a truly audacious move that has left the nation both bewildered and amused, the tiny town of...
Ozzy Osbourne hired to interpret Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—Weeks into Joe Biden's presidency, Democratic strategists have finally find someone capable of interpreting what the hell he is...
BREAKING: Biden includes Hamas terrorists in impressive 336,000 new jobs report
WASHINGTON, DC—In a truly baffling turn of events, President* Biden's administration has managed to find a silver lining in the...
BREAKING: CIA accidentally gives $3 billion to Trump supporter disguised as Hamas terrorist
WASHINGTON, DC--We reported on a Trump supporter who disguised himself as a Hamas terrorist in order to be removed from...
QUIZ: Caused by the Hamas terrorist attack on Israel or a mostly-peaceful BLM riot?
This is probably our most difficult quiz yet. Can you tell the difference between a Hamas terrorist attack and a...
BREAKING: US to send Israel weapons to counter Hamas, which used US weapons from Ukraine and Afghanistan to attack Israel, which is funded by US
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of international diplomacy and circular logic, the United States has announced that it will be...
BREAKING: Biden caught reading ‘Global Thermonuclear War for Dummies’ on break
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden was caught reading "Global Thermonuclear War for Dummies" after returning from a European trip aimed...
BREAKING: Walls aren’t racist anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—In a groundbreaking shift in policy and rhetoric, President* Joe Biden announced today that walls, once seen as divisive...
