Exclusive CNN Coverage: The Deadly Trump Algae Bloom
In an alarming development that experts are linking directly to former President Donald Trump's policies, rhetoric, and general existence, scientists...
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CNN Panel: “Why is Everyone Trying to Kill Hitler?”
WASHINGTON — In the immediate aftermath of a disrupted incident at the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner, CNN moved swiftly...
CNN’s This Day in Teen Tourism on Abnormally Warm Weather History: 2004 Madrid Train Massacre
On a crisp yet unseasonably pleasant early spring morning in Madrid, a group of young visitors from various backgrounds decided...
CNN adds Gavin Newsom to panel on ‘What It’s Like Being Black & Poor in America’
ATLANTA — In what network executives are calling a “definitive step toward radical empathy,” CNN has confirmed California Governor Gavin...
Trump declines call for unity with demonic commies who want him and all his followers dead
US—President Donald J. Trump has declined to hold hands and sing unity anthems with self-described demonic communists, a group that...
Brave NC Judge Sentences Knife To Life In The Utensil Drawer
CHARLOTTE, NC — Judge Teresa Stokes has sentenced a knife to life imprisonment without parole in a utensil drawer. The...
CNN: The attacker was not a white MAGA Christian male so we’re not going to report on it
ATLANTA—In a stunning display of journalistic efficiency, CNN announced today that it would immediately cease coverage of a breaking news...
BREAKING: Trump replaces White House Press Secretary with literal gaslight to address Epstein Files
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that has left political analysts and fire marshals equally baffled, former President Donald Trump...
Senator Tillis Delivers Fiery CNN Audition Tape
In a performance that had cable news executives scrambling for their contracts, North Carolina Senator Thom Tillis unleashed a red-hot...
Doctors Relieved Biden’s Prostate Nodule Was Just CNN’s Jake Tapper
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning medical revelation, doctors at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center announced today that a...
