KABUL—The Taliban is celebrating Pride month by hanging homosexuals and others in the LGBTQIAPPFJB+ community with new rainbow-colored nooses. The nooses have been a big hit at local parades across the country.

“Our Pride events have evolved into larger festivals,” Taliban Spokesman Mohammad Ali said, “often lasting multiple days, they’ve become a magnet for travelers who want to connect with LGBTQ people in a fun way.”

The Taliban says they will be hanging “several queers a day” with the new nooses.

They will also paint several of the bullets left by Joe Biden in rainbow colors and shoot people with them.

Ali said that the pandemic definitely had an effect on the events.

“We have to make sure that the homosexuals are social distancing before we throw them off of buildings and we always make sure they’re masked up before we hang them,” Ali said.

The Afghanistan tourism board says that they expect 10,000 people to converge on Kabul for Pride Month festivities—a new record.

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