Tlaib wins Oscar for Best Imaginary Victimhood

HOLLYWOOD—Representative Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) praised Allah in her acceptance speech after winning the Oscar for Best Imaginary Victimhood yesterday.

The honor came shortly after Tlaib broke down crying on the House floor Thursday night when talking about the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, saying that she could have died along with her co-star Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY).

Tlaib went on to describe all the ways that people could hate her but don’t.

“I am a Muslim. I am a woman. I employ black women who wear hijab,” Tlaib said through tears.

“It’s just horrific to have to be afraid of all this imaginary hate!” Tlaib said.

Tlaib won the Oscar moths before the ceremony will be held because, as a spokesman reported, “She was that good.”