Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance

The Chinese track and field team that recently dominated the high jump at the World Track and Field Federation weren’t all smiles—there were some grimaces.

At least three women jumpers in the team of Sum, Ha, Ve, and Dong are biological men and found the uniforms to be uncomfortable.

“If the Federation doesn’t account for some women that compete in women’s sports having lady balls and approve uniforms that fit us, then we are going to be forced to protest and not participate,” Dong said through a translator.

Hans Weinerman, President of the Track and Field Federation was quick to apologize to the manly women.

“We offer our deepest apologies to these women for offending their personhood and humanity and will do anything we can to pretend that their demands aren’t the most ridiculous thing we’ve ever heard,” Weinerman said.

Despite there being absolutely no difference between men and women, officials are still awaiting the influx of biological women into men’s sports.