Bernie: “Sacrificing poor people to Moloch is our only hope against climate change”


A long time ago, in the land of fairies and magic, human beings collectively believed they could appease their angry gods by sacrificing children. It is an ancient and pervasive superstition that inevitably pops up when human beings abandon their capacity for reason and adopt superstition.

In these primitive tribes, the gods punish their people by depriving rain, threatening solar eclipse, or by heating the planet, and only the blood of an innocent child can sate their evil appetites.

In a bold move for humanity, Bernie Sanders has adopted an equally superstitious plank. “I want to kill poor babies in Africa to appease the capricious gods of Climate Change” he said. Bernie thinks the only option in curbing increasing global temperatures is to kill as many babies born in third world countries as humanly possible. This is not racist however, because of whatever justification the great minds over at We luv Alyssa Milano Inc. say.

Bernie, in a desire to be king of the free world, might have just possibly made the primitive fairy kingdoms of superstition great again. Don’t say he never accomplished anything.


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