Shut down the press. Trump made a tweet and it resulted in the deaths of a million liberals and counting! To help you, dear reader, understand the sheer destructive force of this single Trump tweet consider that the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki resulted in the deaths of a quarter million.

His single tweet has put the United Nations into a frenzy, desperate to sanction the President. They have officially labeled his twitter account as a weapon of mass destruction, and let us hope it leads to the Donald’s careful consideration of the things he chooses to write.

At this pace there will be no more liberals to clutch their pearls in the matter of weeks! This is a humanitarian emergency! Without the libs who will speak up for the polyamorous pansexual pigmy lesbians of the river Nile? Who will be the one to decry racism every time a white man wakes up from a nap? Who, dear friend, will castigate the downtrodden while uplifting the comfortable? We need our libs! This is a national emergency!

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Earnest O'Connor

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