CNN apologizes for upcoming ‘technical difficulties’ whenever Biden speaks
ATLANTA—CNN has already purchased dozens of new cameras and TV equipment from the Chinese Communist Party in anticipation of the...
Year: 2020
Fauci: ‘Face masks aren’t necessary if you put your hands like this’
WASHINGTON—Tippy top infectious disease expert and America's doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci has released new guidelines for wearing masks in public...
Cuomo: ‘Pizza is a substantive food unless you put pineapple on it’
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo, in a lengthy explanation of possibly the most arbitrary government mandate in the long history arbitrary...
Washington’s NFL franchise will now be called the ________ _____s so as not to offend anyone
Effective immediately, Washington will call itself the __________ _______s so as not to offend anyone. "We had a few ideas...
BLM rejects Marxism once they find out Karl Marx was an old white guy
By now every sentient being is well aware that Black Lives Matter has absolutely nothing to do with Black lives....
Having not found 5 righteous people in Chicago, Trump orders a surge of fire and brimstone
President Donald Trump, having not found even 5 righteous people in the city of Chicago, announced plans Wednesday to send...
Portland moms finally pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest
PORTLAND, OR--Moms from around Portland finally came to pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest at the federal...
Feminists protest National Hotdog Day in order to defeat the Patriarchy
CHICAGO—A group of 100 feminists marched defiantly outside Vienna Beef headquarters today, in order to protest national hotdog day, July...
Twitter bans thousands of QAnon users who had already left Twitter cause Twitter sucks
Twitter announced on Tuesday that the social media company had banned thousands of accounts by QAnon users who had already...
Vegas releases odds for Ghislaine Maxwell being suicided next week
LAS VEGAS--Oddsmakers are having trouble finding people to bet that Jeffrey Epstein's CIA and sex trafficking associate Ghislaine Maxwell will...
