BREAKING: G-D Will Destroy Portland If He Can’t Find Ten Righteous People In The City
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed that the city of Portland is in mortal danger. If G-D cannot find ten righteous people in...
Year: 2023
Disney announces their newest princess: Colin Kaepernick
ALTA VISTA, FL—Disney has announced their newest princess, Colin Kaepernick, who will star in a new film that will “showcase...
Disney to Reimagine Classic as ‘Snow Brown and the Seven They/Thems’
In a move that has been called “brave” and “stunning”, Disney is putting a new twist on the studio’s first...
Secret Service Says They May Never Know Who Assassinated Abraham Lincoln
WASHINGTON, DC—The Secret Service closed another chapter today when it solved the mystery of the bottle of diet coke that...
US cheers Hollywood writers’ strike, excited for break from nonstop degenerate propaganda
In a surprising turn of events, the Hollywood writers have gone on strike, leaving the United States ecstatic about the...
BREAKING: Joe Biden Has Been Using Common Core This Entire Time To Calculate How Many Grandchildren He Has
Joe Biden talks about his six grandchildren very often and how much he loves each one of them. The only...
BREAKING: No one wants to talk to Budget Fidel at the NATO cocktail party
Vilnius, Lithuania—It seems that nobody wanted to engage in conversation with the infamous "Budget Fidel" aka the "Welfare Warmonger" aka...
8 Famous Quotes From President Biden
President Joseph R. Biden has this uncanny ability as a master orator to communicate with the public in ways other...
Mystery Solved: Coke Found In White House Turns Out To Just Be A Bottle Of Diet Coke
Subsequent testing confirmed that coke discovered by the Secret Service at the White House was actually a bottle of diet...
TX Gov Abbott installs marine barriers along the southern border to halt the catastrophic effects of climate change
In an unexpected move to combat the effects of climate change, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has unveiled a groundbreaking plan:...
