Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years
A local man is living in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years. "I've done my work and I...
Month: October 2025
Financial influencer boldly predicts prices will either go up or go down following Fed announcement
NEW YORK– In a move that has left investors both dazzled and deeply unenlightened, renowned financial influencer Chad "The Bull...
Pop star who sounds like a duck being brutalized without autotune condemns AI-generated music
LOS ANGELES—Quackella Jolie issued a scathing broadside against AI-generated music Wednesday, mere hours after a viral clip exposed her unfiltered...
Trump Dedicates White House ‘Ball’room to Michelle Obama, Cites Bipartisan Appeal
Washington, D.C. – In a bid for what he termed "finally some positive press – believe me, it's overdue," President...
Thousands of Muslims Flock to America to Enjoy the Exquisite Torment of Systematic Islamophobia
In a stunning reversal of historical migration patterns, thousands of Muslims from war-torn, dictator-ruled, or simply boring countries have begun...
Critics worried about Trump’s 70-story White House glow up
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left architectural purists and budget hawks clutching their artisanal coffee mugs, President-elect...
Local man buys $900 3D printer so he can make cheap Chinese junk at home for 10 times the price
In a bold leap toward self-sufficiency, local man Greg Thompson, 38, has unveiled his latest venture: crafting budget-tier Chinese trinkets...
Communism Only Killed 100 Million People. It’s Time We Give It Another Try.
NEW YORK—Listen up, New Yorkers: I know the headlines are screaming about Zohran Mamdani's double-digit lead in the mayoral polls,...
Buy Bernie’s new book ‘How to Get Filthy Rich Fighting Income Inequality’
Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders is on a roll. After making a name for himself decrying capitalism and fighting the super-rich,...
‘Medal Of Freedom For Capt. Kirk?, He’s Not Even Real Person’ Says Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrats were furious Charlie Kirk was awarded the Congressional Medal of Freedom. It was so upsetting, MSNBC refused to...
