WILMINGTON—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has promised a full-sized US Postal Service mail box in every American living room if he’s elected in November.

“The other guy, Trump, likes to promise stuff like jobs and a robust private sector. That’s kid stuff. I’m going to put a big ass mail box in every living room. How do you like them apples?” Biden said through his translator.

Biden recently accepted his party’s nomination after agreeing to die shortly after the election.

Strategists say that the in-home mailboxes will be a great way for people to support the USPS.

“The letter carriers will obviously need access to the mailbox, so they’ll need to get into your house and what not,” Biden said. “There’s nothing weird or creepy about it.”

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Jeremy Spoken

None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.

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