Beloved Hallmark actress Lori Loughlin has been accused of fraud in the admission process of her daughter Olivia Jade into the University of Southern California (USC). Halllmark is running with it though and producing a new type of Christmas entertainment: “The Holidays in Handcuffs”.

“We’re very excited to launch this new brand of criminal Christmas films,” Hallmark president Kenny Beck said. “We feel that for too long we needed to break out of the typical rom-com cat lady Christmas films that we have produced. This will bring the edge.”

Loughlin was accused with several dozen other parents in a nation-wide investigation of celebrities and other wealthy elites who used their influence and cash to get their kids into highly-sought-after universities.

“Like, they wanted more than just stunning good looks and perfect skin to get into the school,” Olivia Jade said. “That’s insane!”

Loughlin and Olivia’s father J Mossimo Giannulli reportedly paid hefty bribes to designate Olivia as a top chess club recruit and particle physics scholar, despite clearly not having anything to do with those.

“It’s, like, super stupid that colleges want all this money and they want you to be unbelievably smart,” Olivia added.

Other notable names involved in the scandal include Desperate Housewives star Felicity Huffman and author Jane Buckingham.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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