BREAKING: Ben and Jerry’s “Peach-Mint” recalled after attempting to suicide over 63 million people
Genesius Times food critic, Buffet Bill Scaletopper, has been given another exclusive, revealing Ben and Jerry’s newest and most disgusting flavor, ‘Peach-Mint.’
The flavor, which was released only in Republican precincts, was intended to suicide just about everyone in those precincts. The workers behind the counter were instructed by B&J to pay particular attention to people wearing MAGA hats by offering particularly generous 5 gallon taste samples.
Ben and Jerrys believes there will be such a demand for their new flavor in other Republican enclaves, several more are in the works.
“Chocolate Schiff‘ made with samples of Burbank and San Francisco street turds surrounded in a delicate MAGA hat blood-tinged vanilla bean base.
“Schumer Strawberry Smarmy Swirl” for those Conservatives who just can’t look away as Democrats smile sweetly while looking you right in the eye and flawlessly lie.
“Pelosi Parfait” loaded with nuts.
“Hakim Hash” for those Republicans who can speak softly, the Democrat dogma initially appearing to make sense, but when they get home realize it was complete BS.
“Bold Jerrold” made from stolen Times Square ‘loosies’ immersed in a flavorful swirl of Con Ed Pipe Sweat and the Yellow snow surrounding Bill DeBlasio’s car.
Ben and Jerry’s are busy planning other ways to suicide conservatives so check back often for their newest flavors.
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