European Union officials concerned with the spread of coronavirus have issued a plea to the thousands of military-age men amassing on the border between Turkey and Greece.

“When you find a ditch or a puddle in which to wash explosive powder or flammable substances off of your hands, please make sure to scrub vigorously for as long as it takes to sing ‘Happy birthday,’” reads a statement which is being air-dropped as a leaflet around the border at Kastanies, Greece.

In February, President Erdogan announced that Turkey would be re-opening its border and encouraging millions of potential coronavirus carriers to invade Europe without masks or hand sanitizer.

France, Poland, Hungary and Austria are sending infectious disease specialists armed with full military gear and the instructions “shoot to kill” to the border area, to ensure that all those attempting to set fires, tear down metal fencing and hurling explosives are not coughing or running a temperature above 98.6^oF.

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Anita Goodcock

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