Biden assures voters, ‘It’s not sexual assault, it’s democratic sexual assault’

Presidential front runner Joe Biden has finally answered critics regarding the alleged sexual assault he committed on Tara Reade decades ago, saying, “It’s not sexual assault, people, it’s democratic sexual assault. That makes it a good thing.”

The convincing argument has been used throughout history to defend increasing centralized government authority as people claim, “it’s not socialism, it’s democratic socialism.”

Many women’s rights activists replied to the defense with wholehearted acceptance of the friendly serial abuser and pedophile Biden.

“I wasn’t thinking about it like that,” #metoo advocate Rose McGowan said. “It’s clearly not bad at all because it’s democratic.”

Democratic socialists Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who have endorsed Biden only to criticize him about his sexual abuse were forced to agree that there was nothing wrong with his behavior after he prepended ‘democratic’ to it.

“I am opposed to all forms of sexual abuse,” Ocasio-Cortez said, “but democratic sexual abuse is another thing altogether.