EAST PALESTINE, OH—Following the deadly train derailment in Ohio in which hundreds of thousands of pounds of toxic chemicals were burned off into the surrounding air, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg vowed that he would take action by go on a European train vacation next.

“The train derailment is certainly an issue and there are major problems with our transportation system, which I will fix by going on a train vacation in Europe for my next 6-week vacation, which will start next week,” Buttigieg said.

Buttigieg also said that he would be doing his best to make the train gay like he did US highways, which will help everything.

Buttigieg took another recent vacation on August 29, just one week before Amtrak “began canceling all long-distance trips in preparation of a potentially catastrophic rail strike.”

“Clearly, the only way anything will be solved is if I go on vacation,” Buttigieg said.

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