NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took the internet by storm today when she suggested that the federal government should nuke the sun at night when it’s colder in order to fight climate change.

“I just came up with a solution to climate change that like no one has ever thought of before,” AOC said in a series of tweets. “Since the sun is the number one culprit in our fight against climate change, why not simply nuke it out of existence? Now look, I know the sun is like really hot – like 500 degrees or something and slightly hotter than my kitchen oven. So I devised like a brilliant plan: nuke the sun at night when it’s cold outside. Maybe wear oven mitts just to play it safe. And just like that, we’ve solved the climate change crisis.”

Reactions to AOC’s proposal were mixed. Bill Nye the ‘Not-So-Science-Guy’ spoke glowingly of the proposal. “This plan is endorsed by 97% of scientists,” Nye said. “And anyone who disagrees with this is obviously a science and climate change denier who should be sent to one of Biden’s energy-efficient concentration camps.”

Others weren’t as excited. “AOC is the dumbest politician ever!” Trump posted on Parler, after getting booted from Twitter. “Nuking the sun is the craziest thing ever! Next she’ll suggest plugging a power strip into itself to save on electricity! Sad!”

When asked by reporters which scientists support AOC’s proposal, it turned out it’s the same scientists who refuse to believe in the science of biology, abortion and economics.  

About Author

Rafi Metz

Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.

If you’d like to support my daily satirical outbursts, donations are always welcome by clicking here.

See author's posts