BREAKING: Nathan Wade forced to pull out of Fani Willis’s office
ATLANTA—Per Judge Scott McAfee's order, lead prosecutor Nathan Wade has been forced to withdraw from his duties at Fani Willis's...
Jeremy Spoken
None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.
Cannibal Haitian Migrants Excited to Feast on Sanctuary City’s Liberal Cuisine
SAN FRANCISCO—In a shocking twist of events, it appears that the recent surge of Haitian migrants heading for the United...
BREAKING: Old man yells at everyone
SPRINGFIELD—President Joe Biden delivered his State of the Union address last night, leaving Springfield residents scratching their heads in confusion....
BREAKING: Origin of Jewish space lasers identified
ALDERAAN—In a groundbreaking development, photographic evidence has been unearthed that reveals the true origins of the elusive "Jewish space lasers."...
US workers ‘finally able to get some work done’ while Facebook was offline for 2 hours today
US—American workers experienced a surge in productivity not seen since the invention of the coffee break, as Facebook mysteriously went...
BREAKING: Nikki Haley unanimously nominated Queen of the Swamp
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprise coronation ceremony held in the heart of Washington D.C., Nikki Haley, former U.S. ambassador to the...
‘I will no longer be complicit in genocide’ shouts man who accidentally contributes to the genocide of his own people
In a stunning display of misguided activism, Aaron Bushnell, a self-proclaimed pro-Palestine Air Force member, inadvertently became a casualty of...
BREAKING: Biden hires new sign language interpreter
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's administration has once again found itself embroiled in controversy. This time, it's not about policy decisions or...
Taylor Swift takes private jet to get from one side of her private jet to the other
US—Pop sensation Taylor Swift has unveiled her revolutionary solution for in-flight convenience: taking a private jet to get from one...
Biden awards illegal immigrant who flipped off America the Presidential Medal of Freedom
In a move that has left many Americans scratching their heads, President Joe Biden has awarded the prestigious Presidential Medal...
