France To Advise Iran On How To Surrender With Dignity
Paris, France — In a bold diplomatic initiative that has left international observers alternately baffled and unsurprised, President Emmanuel Macron...
Robert L. Peters, Jr.
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Women Too Stupid To Get I.D. Relieved To Not Have To Vote Anymore
In a stunning development hailed as both liberating and patriotic, millions of American women have reportedly been freed from the...
‘$3 Gas is Outrageous!’ Says Woman Happy To Pay $5 Under Biden
Local resident Cora Upshin, a dedicated Democrat and self-described "principled consumer," took to X this week to voice her profound...
Mamdani Vows to ‘Solve the Homeless Problem with One More Deep Freeze’
NEW YORK CITY — In a press conference held amid swirling snow flurries and the faint scent of victory (or...
BREAKING: Dangerous Cold Weather Closes Schools So Kids Can Go Sledding
In a stunning display of progressive parenting and climate awareness, public schools across the northern United States shuttered their doors...
Cinnabon Removes the ‘N’s’ to Prove they Aren’t Racist
Atlanta, GA – In a groundbreaking act of corporate virtue that no one asked for, Cinnabon announced Tuesday that it...
Congress To Fix Nation By Working Almost 100 Days Next Year
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold display of legislative masochism, House Minority Leader Steve Scalise proudly unveiled the 2026 Congressional...
TSA Implements Protective Measures for Passengers Seated Near Rep Brad Sherman
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move praised by public-health experts and dry cleaners alike, the Transportation Security Administration announced Tuesday...
BREAKING: Wolf Wins Election With Huge Sheep & Chicken Vote
In what can only be described as animals gone wild, the wolf has won election to rule the farm. The...
BREAKING: Wars Breakout All Over Hell As Dick Cheney Welcomed In
HELL—In a development that has even the most jaded demons reaching for their pitchforks, Hell descended into unprecedented chaos this...
