Brave NC Judge Sentences Knife To Life In The Utensil Drawer
CHARLOTTE, NC — Judge Teresa Stokes has sentenced a knife to life imprisonment without parole in a utensil drawer. The...
Robert L. Peters, Jr.
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New WNBA Fans Grow Frustrated Waiting For Next Dildo Toss
The WNBA is basking in a wave of new fans, but not all are thrilled with the league’s pacing. Oran...
BREAKING: Kilmar Garcia Released From Prison To Find Cure For Cancer
ANNAPOLIS, MD—Kilmar Garcia, a Maryland man previously incarcerated for unspecified charges, was released from prison this week to pursue his...
MLB: First Female Ump Grounds The Cubs For Messy Dugout
CHICAGO—MLB’s first female umpire, Jen “Iron Mom” Pawol, brought Wrigley Field to a screeching halt during yesterday’s Chicago Cubs game...
BREAKING: Robert Mueller Surges in 2028 Democratic Polls After Admitting He Has Dementia
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a plot twist that has left political pundits checking their calendars for April Fools’ Day, former...
Bongino Blinks “EPSTEIN DIDN’T KILL HIMSELF” In Morse Code During TV Interview
Conservative commentator Dan Bongino has sent shockwaves through the conspiracy community after allegedly blinking “EPSTEIN DIDN’T KILL HIMSELF” in Morse...
Senator Tillis Delivers Fiery CNN Audition Tape
In a performance that had cable news executives scrambling for their contracts, North Carolina Senator Thom Tillis unleashed a red-hot...
BREAKING: Judge Boasberg Declares War On Iran; Sends US Troops In
In a stunning display of judicial overreach, U.S. District Court Judge James E. Boasberg has declared war on Iran, overturning...
BREAKING: Trump replaces official Biden portrait at White House
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald J. Trump, freshly reinstated in the Oval Office, has replaced President Joe Biden’s official White House portrait...
Bongino Blinks “CORRUPTION” In Morse Code During TV Interview
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bombshell moment that left FOX News viewers rubbing their eyes in disbelief, conservative firebrands Dan Bongino and...
