BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination of him
BUTLER, PA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination attempt on his life. The...
Robert L. Peters, Jr.
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Biden scrambles to find new VP after hearing about assassination attempt on Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a whirlwind of confusion and panic, President Joe Biden is reportedly scrambling to find a new...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for killing would be assassin
BUTLER, PA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted yet again, this time for the actions of his Secret Service detail....
White House politely asks enemies to not start WWIII between 4pm and 10am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move aimed at accommodating President* Biden's cognitive awareness schedule, the White House has formally requested that all...
BREAKING: Biden Hires Jeffrey Toobin to Help Him Become a “Master Debater”
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move to enhance his debate skills ahead of the upcoming presidential election, President* Joe Biden has...
Pro-Illegal Immigration Advocate Outraged Over Line-Cutter at Starbucks
DENVER—A Colorado-based pro-illegal immigration advocate, Ira Nee, was incensed when a man cut the line at Starbucks. The incident has...
White House Report ‘Inflation is Way Down’ After Excluding Gas, Food, Housing
In a brilliant move to piggyback off the FBI's new method of reporting crime, the White House has announced that...
Biden Confuses Juneteenth Festival for Cotton Picking Festival
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, President* Joe Biden was seen at a Juneteenth festival at the White...
Biden recalls D-Day invasion when He & Beau stormed Normandy Beach
In a touching and unexpected tribute to the heroes of D-Day, President Joe Biden was able to tell a harrowing...
PETA Braces for Busy Gerbil Sales Month
PETA has announced that it is bracing for a busy Gerbil Awareness Month campaign blitz, as the animal rights organization...
