BREAKING: France eager to get into Ukraine-Russia war so that they can surrender to someone soon
PARIS—France has announced that it is eager to join the ongoing conflict between Ukraine and Russia, expressing a fervent desire...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
MSNBC fires Joy Reid because she didn’t call people racist hard enough
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe the internet), Joy Reid, former MSNBC host and...
BREAKING: Anti-war Democrats furious at Trump for attempting to end two wars
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Anti-war Democrats including Senator Bernie Sanders are furious that President Trump wants to end two wars. The unexpected peace...
BREAKING: Child of B-List celebrity bravely comes out as attention whore
HOLLYWOOD—In a jaw-dropping moment that caught absolutely no one off guard, 19-year-old Skyler Montague—offspring of former River Hollow teen idol...
German authorities arrest man for making false claim online that there is no free speech in Germany
BERLIN, GERMANY - German authorities have arrested a local man, Hans Schmidt, for the audacious act of stating online that...
Democrats insist century-old Social Security recipients are real, and they all voted for Biden
Washington, D.C. - In what can only be described as the most unexpected audit in history, Elon Musk's newly established...
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States is experiencing the worst shortage of conspiracy theories in decades as all of them have come true...
SUPRRISE: Trump unveils his face on Mount Rushmore for Presidents’ Day
KEYSTONE, South Dakota – In a move that has left historians, geologists, and just about everyone else in utter disbelief,...
Weirdos try to play hockey in the middle of the US-Canada ice boxing match
MONTREAL—In what was supposed to be a brutal but beautiful display of ice boxing—a sport where gloved combatants duke it...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez releases line of socialist Valentines
The creative art director at the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez staff has been working like an unpaid Democratic staffer in preparation for...
