Fort Hood Shooter Requests the All-Female Execution Team from Tennessee for His Execution
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Nidal Hasan, the former Army major convicted of the 2009 Fort Hood mass shooting, has formally requested...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
US House Chamber Turned Into Spirit Halloween
WASHINGTON — The House of Representatives, out of session long enough for the district work period to acquire a lease,...
Leftist Takes Break from Cheering Public Execution of Innocent Man to Condemn Public Execution of Mass Murderer
WASHINGTON — Progressive groups paused Thursday from their regular commentary on executions they regard as justice in order to condemn...
Des Moines Woman Says She Discovered Miraculous Candy Corn
DES MOINES — A woman in central Iowa reported Thursday that a piece of candy corn in a newly opened...
After Weeks in Hiding, James Talarico Emerges as a Black Woman Jamie Talarica to Boost Senate Bid
Austin, TX — After two weeks in seclusion, Texas State Representative James Talarico has emerged to announce that he is...
WOOPS: Plague Factory Worker Accidentally Starts Deadly Pandemic Right Before Midterms
MOSCOW — A mid-level technician at the remote Siberian Strategic Pathogen Production Complex, more commonly known among staff as the...
Democrats Urge Voters to Vote for Them So Gas Prices Will Come Down Like they are in Blue States
WASHINGTON — In a series of carefully worded statements this week, Democratic leaders and campaign surrogates encouraged Americans to vote...
Climate Change Causing Fires All Across France, Experts Confirm
PARIS — CNN reported Monday that the immigrant riots now entering their second week across several French cities are being...
Biblical Scholars Now Conclude that Judas’s 30 Pieces of Silver Were Supplied by USAID
JERUSALEM — A consortium of biblical historians and institutional-funding analysts announced Monday that the thirty pieces of silver paid to...
Scientists Baffled as to Why the Left Keeps Losing in South America Since the CIA Stopped Funding Their Campaigns Through USAID
SÃO PAULO — Political scientists and institutional-development researchers reported deepening bewilderment on Sunday after Brazil’s first-round presidential election produced yet...
