BREAKING: Trump says he’ll release the Epstein files if he’s elected to a third term in 2028
WASHINGTON, DC—President Trump says he will finally release all the Epstein files and the so-called Epstein list if he's re-elected...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
NEW: Nicolas Cage to Star in National Treasure: The Epstein Files
Hollywood, CA – In a move that has left fans equal parts thrilled and baffled, Nicolas Cage is set to...
BREAKING: Republicans Hold ‘Free Ghislaine’ Rally, Demand Justice for Woman Convicted of Trafficking Minors to Absolutely No One
Washington, D.C. — In a dazzling display of cognitive dissonance, a group of Republican lawmakers, pundits, and conspiracy hobbyists gathered...
Rachel Ziegler shines as the new trans woman Superman who hates America
In a bold, boundary-smashing move that has Hollywood buzzing and X ablaze with memes, Rachel Ziegler has been cast as...
BREAKING: FBI conclude that Jeffrey Epstein never existed
In a shocking turn of events, the Federal Bureau of Investigation has announced that Jeffrey Epstein, the disgraced financier and...
BREAKING: The FBI finally done scrubbing video to make it look like no one entered Jeffrey Epstein’s cell the night he was suicided
NEW YORK—In a stunning display of transparency and technological wizardry, the FBI has released what it claims is the definitive,...
BREAKING: Disney names P. Diddy new CEO citing appeal with children
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In a surprising move, Disney has announced that music mogul P. Diddy—who now goes by the pseudonym...
BREAKING: Federal Judge Hugh Jassole orders Trump to rebuild Iranian nuclear sites
In a ruling that has left legal scholars, political analysts, and late-night comedians scratching their heads, Federal Judge Hugh Jassole...
Nation celebrates Juneteenth when the government freed slaves from the plantation and made them slaves to the state
US—Americans across the country came together on June 19th to celebrate the momentous occasion of Juneteenth - the day when...
Walmart pulls Fried Chicken & Watermelon ‘Juneteenth’ ice cream after backlash
LOS ANGELES—Walmart has apologized for the Juneteenth items that its selling at its stores, specifically the Watermelon & Fried Chicken...
