Rachel Ziegler shines as the new trans woman Superman who hates America
In a bold, boundary-smashing move that has Hollywood buzzing and X ablaze with memes, Rachel Ziegler has been cast as...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: FBI conclude that Jeffrey Epstein never existed
In a shocking turn of events, the Federal Bureau of Investigation has announced that Jeffrey Epstein, the disgraced financier and...
BREAKING: The FBI finally done scrubbing video to make it look like no one entered Jeffrey Epstein’s cell the night he was suicided
NEW YORK—In a stunning display of transparency and technological wizardry, the FBI has released what it claims is the definitive,...
BREAKING: Disney names P. Diddy new CEO citing appeal with children
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In a surprising move, Disney has announced that music mogul P. Diddy—who now goes by the pseudonym...
BREAKING: Federal Judge Hugh Jassole orders Trump to rebuild Iranian nuclear sites
In a ruling that has left legal scholars, political analysts, and late-night comedians scratching their heads, Federal Judge Hugh Jassole...
Nation celebrates Juneteenth when the government freed slaves from the plantation and made them slaves to the state
US—Americans across the country came together on June 19th to celebrate the momentous occasion of Juneteenth - the day when...
Walmart pulls Fried Chicken & Watermelon ‘Juneteenth’ ice cream after backlash
LOS ANGELES—Walmart has apologized for the Juneteenth items that its selling at its stores, specifically the Watermelon & Fried Chicken...
WNBA installs new mid-court wrestling ring to help players pummel Caitlin Clark
The WNBA has unveiled a regulation wrestling ring at center court for all games, designed explicitly to let players “pummel”...
BREAKING: Iran reveals ‘historic surprise’ is actually just a nation-wide kebab festival starting today
After last night’s cryptic vow of a “surprise the world will remember for centuries,” Iran revealed today that the big...
Democrats take a break from worshipping a fentanyl-addict as a god to say they don’t want a king
Democrats have briefly stepped away from their hallowed George Floyd shrines—complete with votive candles and murals of dubious artistic merit—to...
