Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

BREAKING: FBI Raids John Bolton’s Mustache in Pre-Dawn Operation

Exavier Saskagoochie August 22, 2025 0

In a stunning escalation of federal overreach, the FBI conducted a dramatic 4 a.m. raid on former National Security Advisor...

After Backlash, Cracker Barrel Reverts to ‘Old-Timer’ Logo, Slaps Sydney Sweeney on for Good Measure

Exavier Saskagoochie August 21, 2025 0

In a move that screams “we hear you, but also, please look at this shiny distraction,” Cracker Barrel Old Country...

Illegal Alien Who Killed 3 in Illegal U-Turn in Florida Surges to Top of 2028 Democratic Presidential Polls

Exavier Saskagoochie August 20, 2025 0

In a plot twist that reads like a rejected Hollywood script, Harjinder Singh, an undocumented immigrant who scored a California...

BREAKING: Sadiq Khan Bans Assault Bacon in London, Declares City ‘Safe for Muslims’

Exavier Saskagoochie August 20, 2025 0

LONDON—Mayor Sadiq Khan has announced a city-wide ban on "assault bacon," declaring it a public safety hazard and a bold...

Experts blame climate change for making them use cloud-seeding tech to cause massive flooding throughout US

Exavier Saskagoochie August 14, 2025 0

NEW YORK—Government officials have blamed climate change for making them use cloud-seeding technology to cause massive flooding throughout the United...

BREAKING: Trump orders nuclear strike on DNC headquarters in effort to ‘clean up DC’

Exavier Saskagoochie August 12, 2025 0

WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented and shocking move, President Donald Trump authorized a low-yield nuclear strike on the Democratic National Committee...