BREAKING: Starmer lowers voting age in UK to ensure everyone in the Tide Pod Challenge Generation can vote
UK—In a bold move to secure the youth vote and cement his legacy as the Prime Minister of Progress, Keir...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Trump considering appointing special prosecutor to cover up the Epstein files
Washington, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump confirmed today that he is “strongly considering” appointing a special prosecutor to manage...
BREAKING: Epstein Island sold to wealthy Middle Eastern businessman Haadid Nahkil Muhssef
NEW YORK—A wealthy Middle Eastern businessman Haadid Nahkil Muhssef has purchased Jeffrey Epstein's pedophile island for $56 million, according to...
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell has tragically committed suicide next week
NEW YORK–In a shocking turn of events, Ghislaine Maxwell, co-conspirator to Jeffrey Epstein, has tragically killed herself next week. Maxwell...
BREAKING: Trump says he’ll release the Epstein files if he’s elected to a third term in 2028
WASHINGTON, DC—President Trump says he will finally release all the Epstein files and the so-called Epstein list if he's re-elected...
NEW: Nicolas Cage to Star in National Treasure: The Epstein Files
Hollywood, CA – In a move that has left fans equal parts thrilled and baffled, Nicolas Cage is set to...
BREAKING: Republicans Hold ‘Free Ghislaine’ Rally, Demand Justice for Woman Convicted of Trafficking Minors to Absolutely No One
Washington, D.C. — In a dazzling display of cognitive dissonance, a group of Republican lawmakers, pundits, and conspiracy hobbyists gathered...
Rachel Ziegler shines as the new trans woman Superman who hates America
In a bold, boundary-smashing move that has Hollywood buzzing and X ablaze with memes, Rachel Ziegler has been cast as...
BREAKING: FBI conclude that Jeffrey Epstein never existed
In a shocking turn of events, the Federal Bureau of Investigation has announced that Jeffrey Epstein, the disgraced financier and...
BREAKING: The FBI finally done scrubbing video to make it look like no one entered Jeffrey Epstein’s cell the night he was suicided
NEW YORK—In a stunning display of transparency and technological wizardry, the FBI has released what it claims is the definitive,...
