After hearing of Titanic sub implosion, Biden promises to send $100B more to Ukraine
In a stunning display of his commitment to international affairs, President* Joe Biden has reportedly pledged to send an additional...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden launches 2024 presidential run with ‘Join the Killective’ T-shirts
In a move that surprised absolutely no one, President Joe Biden has officially announced his bid for the 2024 presidential...
Alex Jones uses his full power to protect the last 2 straight frogs during pride month
In a stunning display of amphibian activism, renowned conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has emerged as the unlikely champion for the...
Chicago celebrates Juneteenth by hosting 75 murders over the weekend
CHICAGO—As Juneteenth celebrations took place across the nation, Chicago decided to put its own unique spin on the holiday by...
Biden releases new campaign logo: Briben 2024
In a surprising turn of events, the Biden administration has unveiled its new campaign logo for the upcoming 2024 presidential...
BREAKING: Russian President Putin has opposition leader arrested in Soviet-style political move
MOSCOW—Russian President Vladimir Putin has had the leader of the opposition party arrested in a Soviet-style totalitarian political move. Leaders...
Gov Hochul urges New Yorkers to protect themselves from Canadian fire smoke by ‘getting vaccinated now’
NEW YORK—In an unexpected twist, New York Governor Kathy Hochul has unveiled a groundbreaking strategy to protect New Yorkers from...
BREAKING: Mayor Adams bans Canadian wildfire smoke from New York City
NEW YORK—In a bold move to protect the lungs of New Yorkers, Mayor Eric Adams has announced a groundbreaking ban...
Activist reveals new fully-inclusive LGBTQ+ acronym with 8 billion characters
Activists group Identititarian Linguists Lithograph (ILL) have published a book containing the latest, most inclusive acronym for the LGBTQQIX2+ community...
Thousands of US companies celebrating Noahic covenant in June
US—In a show of solidarity for biblical principles and in particular the traditional nuclear family, thousands of companies across the...
