BREAKING: Taliban to combat climate change by killing all dissenters who breathe
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—The Taliban has vowed to tackle climate change as part of the terror group's attempt to rebrand itself and modernize. A spokesman...
global warming
Kamala Harris flies 10-truck caravan to Guatamala to lecture them on climate change
GUATAMALA CITY—Vice President* Kamala Harris flew a 10-Suburban caravan to Guatamala in order to lecture them on climate change. "It...
Man who bought 1 million acres of arctic tundra for post-warming golf course wants money back
Qaqortoq, Greenland—Charlie Natt, a Berkeley, CA resident is suing Donald Trump and "all the Republicans" after his Arctic Circle real...
AOC recommends increasing cow farts to warm Texas up
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made a bold suggestion for Texans experiencing unprecedented cooling caused by global warming: more cow...
BREAKING: Biden to build wall along entire coastline to fight rising sea levels
Washington, DC—Joe Biden signaled that the environment will be at the heart of the next administration as he unveiled a...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez suggests nuking sun at night when it’s colder to fight climate change
NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took the internet by storm today when she suggested that the federal government should nuke...
Liberal projectile tears found to be the source of water on the moon
For hundreds of years, researchers and explorers have failed to find evidence of water on the Moon. But just recently...
China pinky-promises to lower carbon emissions by 2069
BEIJING—Xi Jinping and all of his advisors have pinky-promised to lower their country’s emissions by the year 2069. The promise...
Arsonist changes name to ‘Climate Change’ so that people can say Climate Change causes wildfires
PORTLAND, OR—An arsonist who has started several fires in Oregon and California has legally changed his name to "Climate J....
AOC says global warming to blame for several fires set in BLM riots across country
NEW YORK—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) says that global warming is to blame for the fires set in riots across...
