BREAKING: Bernie will ‘save billions eliminating food stamps’ by eliminating food

Democratic socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has been criticized for his expensive government program proposals, but he also has plans to save money. For instance, Sanders’s agricultural plan will, “save billions eliminating food stamps,” through the tried and true socialist strategy of eliminating all of the food in a devastating famine.

“You want to lower costs in the food stamps program?” Sanders asked in a press conference announcing the plan. “Boom. Total famine. I just saved you $58 billion right there.”

The plan is being hailed as innovative and bold by several progressive outlets.

“It’s a very smart program,” Billie Dickus of the democratic socialist Lenin Institute said. “You can’t spend money on food stamps if there’s no food. It’s really quite genius.”

Sanders was praised recently for his projections of cutting $450 billion from healthcare costs by replacing all pharmaceuticals with magical unicorn poop.

“We need healthcare for all! We need a living wage for all! We need free college for all!” Sanders said. “And the only way we can really achieve this through a widespread famine. I will get that done. That I promise.”