Biden confirms that all door-to-door vaccine-checkers will be named Karen

WASHINGTON, DC—Providing more details for the unprecedented door-to-door vaccination checkers in his new COVID vaccine plan will be named Karen.

The vaccine informant Karens will be wearing a harsh black uniform with a clever coronavirus logo so that “people know they mean business.”

During his remarks the president said that “We need to go community by community, neighborhood by neighborhood, and oft times, door to door, literally knocking on doors” to encourage the vaccination for a disease so bad that you have to be tested to know if you have it.

“We wanted to restrict the activity to just people who were already named Karen, but we’re going to need a lot more informants,” Biden said. “So we’re changing their names to Karen.”

Karens across the country have been getting practice in the last year yelling at strangers for not wearing masks, going outside their houses, and not being afraid enough. Biden says these skills will be put to good use for his team of vaccine informant Karens.

All Karens will get the short cropped haircut synonymous with the name.


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