Biden orders all rainbow flags flown at half-staff after Taliban cancels UN queer theory classes

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WASHINGTON, DC—Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Mark Milley was appalled to hear that the Taliban cancelled all of his mandatory queer theory classes in Afghanistan after the extremist group’s stunning takeover.

US President* Joe Biden has ordered all rainbow flags to be flown at half mast across the United States after hearing of the cancellation.

“It’s heartbreaking. To see so many people work so hard to force a stunning and brave sexual and gender ideology on a people who are diametrically opposed to it, only to have all that work just thrown out the window in a matter of hours. Very sad,” Milley said at a press conference dressed in drag.

Milley has stated very bluntly that the reason why the Allies lost Afghanistan so easily was because there were not enough queer studies programs and gender reassignment services.

“I think it’s a horrible shame and history will not look kindly on the Taliban for doing this,” Biden said through a translator before roaming the Camp David grounds aimlessly.

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