WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has announced that he will begin burning $100 bills in his fireside chats as a way to lower energy costs.
In a press conference, Biden explained that the high cost of energy has become a major concern for his administration, and that he believes burning money is a simple and effective solution to the problem.
“Energy costs are too high, and we need to find innovative ways to bring them down,” Biden said. “By burning $100 bills in my fireside chats, we’re able to generate heat and light without using any fossil fuels. It’s a win-win for the environment and for our wallets.”
Critics of the plan have expressed outrage, calling it wasteful and irresponsible. They argue that burning money is a criminal offense and that it sends the wrong message about the value of money.
Supporters of the plan, however, have praised Biden for his bold thinking and his willingness to take decisive action on the energy crisis. They point out that burning money is a renewable source of energy that doesn’t contribute to greenhouse gas emissions.
In response to the controversy, the White House has issued a statement clarifying that the burning of money will only be done in controlled environments and that it will be done in small quantities. The statement also stressed that no taxpayer money will be used in the process—just money taken from taxpayers.
At this point, it’s unclear how effective burning $100 bills will be in lowering energy costs, but one thing is for sure: the image of the President burning money in his fireside chats is sure to spark debate and controversy for years to come.