BREAKING: Biden bails out faltering Disney with $1 billion contract to make LGBTQ propaganda films

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VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has struggled recently, shedding almost half of its stock value and hundreds of millions of dollars on terrible movies that nobody wants to see. However the friends of Garland at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue realize the critical importance of continuing the cultural war by forcing woke gender fluid grooming documentaries into the market and nobody does that better than the Mouse.

President* Joe Biden has announced a groundbreaking partnership between the federal government and the faltering Disney corporation. The president has decided to bail out Disney with a whopping $1 billion contract to produce transgender propaganda films. This unexpected move has left both critics and Disney enthusiasts scratching their heads.

During a press conference held at the Magic Kingdom, Biden took to the podium wearing a Mickey Mouse hat and expressed his enthusiasm for the collaboration. “We are entering a new era of storytelling,” he proclaimed. “Disney has always been a master of creating magical narratives, and now we will harness that power to spread the message of the LGBTQ mafia.”

The contract stipulates that Disney will produce a series of films aimed at promoting the government’s policies and initiatives. From catchy musical numbers about the importance of grooming to heartwarming tales of cutting your kids’ genitals off, these films will serve as a vehicle for communicating the administration’s agenda to the masses.

Critics of the move were quick to point out the potential ethical concerns of using a beloved entertainment giant to disseminate government propaganda. They argued that it blurs the line between entertainment and political messaging, potentially compromising the integrity of both.

Meanwhile, Disney enthusiasts were divided in their response. Some saw it as a natural evolution for the company, given its long history of collaboration with the government. From patriotic films during World War II to working closely with NASA on space-themed attractions, Disney has always been intertwined with national interests. However, others expressed concern that this partnership could result in a loss of creativity and artistic integrity within the Disney brand.

As news of the collaboration spread, rumors began to circulate about the content of these government propaganda films. Some speculated that beloved Disney characters would be repurposed to deliver clear sociopathic messages, envisioning a world where Mickey Mouse promotes transgenderism and Elsa from Frozen advocates for abortion. The possibilities seemed endless, albeit somewhat surreal.

The president’s decision to bail out Disney with taxpayer money raised eyebrows, especially considering the economic struggles faced by small businesses and independent filmmakers. Critics argued that the funds could have been better allocated to support struggling artists and foster a more diverse and inclusive film industry.

In response to the backlash, the White House issued a statement defending the partnership. “This collaboration represents a unique opportunity to reach a wide audience and engage the American people in a meaningful way,” the statement read. “Disney’s storytelling prowess will help communicate our administration’s vision for a better America.”

Only time will tell how this unconventional alliance between the federal government and Disney will play out. As the films hit theaters and streaming platforms, audiences will have the opportunity to witness firsthand the blending of entertainment and political messaging. In the world of politics and entertainment, truth and fiction often intertwine, leaving us to ponder the satirical nature of such partnerships.

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