BREAKING: Biden pulls out of debates unless they provide several nap breaks

CLEVELAND—US Presidential Candidate Joe Biden says he won’t debate President Trump unless there are ample nap breaks during the grandest political stage in the world.

“I tell you what, just to be clear—let me tell ya—there’s nothing better, and I mean this more than you can, nothing better than a nap during a presidential debate,” Biden said in an exclusive Zoom interview with Genesius Times.

The proposed presidential debates would feature the Democratic and Republican candidates trading quips for 5 minutes with three 15-minute naps spaced out in between.

Trump said he would donate his nap time to Biden if he wanted it, which he accepted. “Sleepy Joe is taking a stand to take a nap during the debates. He’s welcome to that!” Trump said.

There will also be elaborate teleprompters for Biden with a feed of his answers on how he feels about all the issues.

“You can’t have an opinion unless you have a teleprompter, and that’s no malarkey Jack!” Biden said.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said that Biden shouldn’t even bother debating Trump if they don’t provide nap breaks. “It’s just silly to think of a presidential debate without nap breaks,” she said.

The first debate is scheduled to be held at Cleveland’s Case Western Reserve University and moderated by Chris Wallace and local Kindergarten teacher Monique Johnson.