US—A poll conducted by the Pew Pew Center shows that some guy named Brandon has surged to the lead in the 2024 presidential poll, making him the most popular candidate ever.
“We’ve never before seen such popularity for a candidate ever, not to mention a candidate that no one has ever heard of or seen before,” Pew Pew Directory Ed McMahon said.
While there is some suspicion as to the identity of this Brandon guy, there is no definitive answer.
People are chanting “Let’s Go Brandon” across the country in sports events and even in other countries.
“From our data, it really looks like Brandon could have his pick of countries to rule as he is popular everywhere,” McMahon said.
Pundits see this as a fundamental change in American politics.
“We could be seeing a sea change in people’s attitudes toward politics,” political analyst Hans Solo said. “Americans are turning more and more to completely fictitious people as a legitimate alternative to the standard candidates and they’re looking at unconventional candidates like this random guy Brandon as acceptable options.”