After six stalemate votes, Democrats and Republicans came together to to select the great American Volodymyr Zelensky to be Speaker of the House of Representatives.

“There’s really no one else who speaks for our interests quite like Volodymyr,” former House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy said.

In addition to the title of Speaker, Zelensky will be able to write checks directly to his bank account without waiting for cumbersome voting on bills and stuff.

Some critics claimed that Zelensky didn’t represent American interests, but others defended the vote.

“No one is more American than Zelensky. He represents our interests more than anyone else,” former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said.

This will be the first time in US history that a foreign comedian has held the office.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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