WASHINGTON, DC—US House Republicans have been trying to trick President* Joe Biden into taking a cognition test since the oldest president ever took office but have been unsuccessful until now.
House Whip Steve Scalise (R-LA) thought of the plan to give Biden a COVID test that was actually a brain cognition test and it “worked like a charm.”
The cognition test came back negative, according to several sources.
It has been rumored that Biden is not actually entirely fulfilling the stressful duties of being president and that other people are in charge, but this has been a conspiracy theory discredited by all the approved fact-checkers.
The White House has also recently changed the definition of “dementia” to exonerate the sitting president.
But the new cognition test results cast a shadow on that.