Jussie Smollett pleads not guilty to being employable
CHICAGO—Former “Empire” star Jussie Smollett pleaded not guilty Monday to charges that he's an employable actor. His lawyer, Tina Glandian,...
Culture
After success of vagina-scented candle, Gwyneth Paltrow releases hairy armpit and boobsweat candles
Move over Yankee Candle. There's a new sheriff in town with an aroma people can't seem to get enough of....
Sanders campaign defines ‘socialism’ as being social with people on their way to internment camps
Socialism? Yuk. Gulags, mass murder, mass starvation, deprivation everywhere, disease. That's not a pretty picture to present to potential voters....
Purple cyclops community praises Pixar for embracing diversity
ATLANTA, GA—The Society for the Inclusion of One-eyed Purple People (SIOOPP) is praising Disney Pixar today after it was revealed...
AOC: ‘If socialism doesn’t work, how did Bernie become a millionaire as a socialist?’
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is known for her brilliant economic insight such as promoting socialism and the prohibition of cow farts. She...
REPORT: Baby Boomers are converting to PDF more than any other religion
A new report by AARP shows that Baby Boomers are converting to PDF more than any other religion. "A friend...
BREAKING: Mayor Pete comes out as a straight black man just in time for South Carolina primary
The Iowa Caucus results are in. Mayor Pete won, maybe, but Genesius Times wanted to know his next move and...
Dozens throw themselves under Bernie Sanders Mardi Gras float to donate life insurance check to campaign
It's happening just like in India where worshipers throw themselves under the wheels of the Juggernaut cart in fits of...
Don Jr. moving up in Democratic primary polls
We all know by now that the Democrats have an enthusiasm gap that widens daily. Presidential candidates drop out two...
Satan opens 10th circle of Hell where all you do is install car seats in minivans all day
In an ongoing effort to increase the misery of millions of damned souls, Satan has announced a brand new, more...
