DeSantis bans rain from Florida after reports it was making people gay
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA—Governor Ron DeSantis has banned rain from the state of Florida after reports that was making people gay. The measure,...
Culture
Burger King releases new gay burger topped with monkeypox or AIDS
Burger King wants its customers to be fully immersed in Pride this year by releasing their new Gay Whoppers, which...
My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
Gender reveal party delayed 3 years while parents decide identity for child
CALICO, CA—A local gender reveal party has been delayed for three years while the parents decide what identity the child...
Biden unveils new pride flag to be flown at all US embassies
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden unveiled a new Pride flag that will be flown at all US embassies around the country and...
Thousands of US companies celebrating Noahic covenant in June
US—In a show of solidarity for biblical principles and in particular the traditional nuclear family, thousands of companies across the...
Pelosi calls husband’s DUI a ‘setup’ by Putin
NAPA VALLEY, CALIFORNIA—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's husband and designated driver was arrested Sunday for driving under the influence...
MEMORIAL DAY: Nation mourns George Floyd who died when his spaceship exploded in 2020
US—This Memorial Day, the nation is mourning NASA legend George Floyd who died two years ago when his spaceship exploded...
Liberals take break from mourning gun deaths of innocent kids to demanding the abortion deaths of other innocent kids
US—Several abortion rights activists around the country have taken a break from mourning the deaths of the innocent kids killed...
EXCLUSIVE: George Floyd celebrates 2 years of sobriety
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—George Floyd, patron saint of fentanyl, celebrated 730 consecutive drug-free days today. Mr. Floyd famously quit taking drugs following his...
