My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
Culture
Mel Gibson starts filming Braveheart 2: the true story of 12-year-old girl fending off predatory migrants
Mel Gibson has reportedly set his sights on Dundee, Scotland, for the filming of "Braveheart 2: The Return of the...
Mona Lisa Get Ready With Me Video
Big News from Genesius Times We’ve spared no expense to bring in top-tier talent for our new Beauty & Style...
BREAKING: Sadiq Khan Bans Assault Bacon in London, Declares City ‘Safe for Muslims’
LONDON—Mayor Sadiq Khan has announced a city-wide ban on "assault bacon," declaring it a public safety hazard and a bold...
BREAKING: Sydney Sweeney issues apology for being so friggin hot
Actress Sydney Sweeney issued a formal public apology Thursday after facing widespread backlash for appearing in a recent American Eagle...
CBS Sees Ratings Boost After Replacing Stephen Colbert With Footage of Paint Drying
New York, NY — CBS has confirmed the dismissal of longtime Late Show host Stephen Colbert this week, citing “strategic...
‘Fetuses are parasites,’ says 34-year-old living in parents’ basement
US—Unemployed Herman Schock, who currently resides in the basement of his parents' house in a suburb of Kansas City, Missouri,...
NEW: Nicolas Cage to Star in National Treasure: The Epstein Files
Hollywood, CA – In a move that has left fans equal parts thrilled and baffled, Nicolas Cage is set to...
Rachel Ziegler shines as the new trans woman Superman who hates America
In a bold, boundary-smashing move that has Hollywood buzzing and X ablaze with memes, Rachel Ziegler has been cast as...
BREAKING: Disney names P. Diddy new CEO citing appeal with children
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In a surprising move, Disney has announced that music mogul P. Diddy—who now goes by the pseudonym...
