BREAKING: Trump replaces official Biden portrait at White House
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald J. Trump, freshly reinstated in the Oval Office, has replaced President Joe Biden’s official White House portrait...
Culture
Swifties Vow to Endure Taylor Swift’s Horrible Music on Repeat to Fund Her Masters Buyback
In a bizarre twist that has the music world clutching its pearls and reaching for noise-canceling headphones, millions of Taylor...
BREAKING: City Council prohibits driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks
The city council has prohibited driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks to prevent destruction, in what many are...
Pride parade cancelled due to 90% chance of fire and brimstone
A pride parade scheduled to be held on Saturday in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah has been cancelled...
MEMORIAL DAY: Nation mourns George Floyd who died when his spaceship exploded in 2020
US—This Memorial Day, the nation is mourning NASA legend George Floyd who died two years ago when his spaceship exploded...
EXCLUSIVE: George Floyd celebrates 5 years of sobriety
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—George Floyd, patron saint of fentanyl, celebrated four consecutive drug-free years today. Mr. Floyd famously quit taking drugs following his...
BREAKING: New York City Replaces Statue of Liberty with Provocative ‘Statue of Black Karen’
NEW YORK CITY—In a shocking and divisive move, New York City unveiled the "Statue of Black Karen" on Liberty Island...
Buc-ee’s opens first store in Vatican City minutes after cardinals elect first American pope
VATICAN—In a move that has left Catholics, Texans, and snack enthusiasts reeling, the Vatican announced the grand opening of a...
BREAKING: Catholic Cardinals Elect Joe Biden as Pope After Mysterious 3 AM Vote Surge
VATICAN CITY– In an unprecedented turn of events that has left the Catholic world reeling, the College of Cardinals has...
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes
In a stunning turn of events that has left the Catholic Church reeling and Twitter ablaze, pop superstar Katy Perry...
