ACTUALLY: Cannibalism is the most eco-friendly diet and will save the planet
As a triple doctorate in Gender-Queer Wildebeest Grooming, Post-Colonial AI Prompt Engineering, and Post-Feminist Interpretive Dance Theory, I'm clearly the...
Culture
Mark Ruffalo and Ramy Youssef demand Israel stop bombing innocent babies in Gaza so the Gazans can go kill innocent babies in abortion
HOLLYWOOD—In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads, Hollywood actors Mark Ruffalo and Ramy Youssef have come...
France celebrates killing babies to save them the embarrassment of surrendering later on
PARIS—In a groundbreaking move that has left the international community reeling, the French government has announced its decision to embrace...
Help Us Celebrate Women’s History Month with our ‘Best-Made Sandwich Contest’
This March, we at Genesius Times want to honor women's history like never before. We're going all out to celebrate...
Google admits its Gemini AI just takes its historical figures from Netflix films
In a stunning admission, Google has revealed that its highly touted Gemini AI, which generates lifelike images of historical figures,...
BREAKING: Biden to dedicate his next beach vacation to the victims of the East Palestine train disaster
WASSHINGTON, DC—In a move that has raised eyebrows and elicited more than a few chuckles, President* Joe Biden announced today...
AOC: ‘I don’t need truckers. I get my food from the grocery store’
Everyone's making a big deal about truckers uniting and the possibility that they may stop driving into New York City...
Local Chinese restaurant replaces fortune cookie sayings with Fani’s Daddy’s genius
ATLANTA—A Chinese restaurant has bid farewell to tradition and ushered in a new era of enlightenment with its latest culinary...
Sonny Hostin forced to give Whoopi her entire paycheck as reparations for slavery
In a shocking turn of events on "The View," co-host Sonny Hostin dropped a bombshell revelation that sent shockwaves through...
Taylor Swift takes private jet to get from one side of her private jet to the other
US—Pop sensation Taylor Swift has unveiled her revolutionary solution for in-flight convenience: taking a private jet to get from one...
