BREAKING: Diane Feinstein quits Senate to focus on hosting ‘Tales from the Crypt’
In a shocking career pivot, Senator Dianne Feinstein has announced her decision to step down from her Senate seat to...
Culture
Disney releases new children’s version of ‘Two Girls One Cup’
In a surprising departure from their usual lineup of fairy tales and talking animals, Disney has just released a heartwarming...
Apple to Offer Customers iMortgages to Help Pay for New Vision Pro VR Headset
There are a few things in life that are guaranteed. The sun rises from the East daily, we all have...
BREAKING: Lauren Boebert wears string bikini on House floor to test new congressional dress code
WASHINGTON, DC—In an astonishing display of fashion defiance, Representative Lauren Boebert of Colorado stunned her colleagues and the nation by...
Nancy Pelosi Threatens To Leak Her Own Sex Tape If Any Republican Runs Against Her In 2024
In a shocking turn of events, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has issued a stern warning to potential Republican challengers in...
EXCLUSIVE: Dr. Geuss releases ‘Green Germs in Spam’ in time for new COVID push
I am SamI am SamSam I am That Sam-I-am!That Sam-I-am!I do not like that Sam-I-am! Do you like green germs...
New ‘free speech’ theater opens in Portland: patrons can yell ‘FIRE!’ if they want
PORTLAND—A controversial new “free speech” theater opened in the thriving Portland arts district last night, triggering protests by firefighters and...
Homeless man ends WGA strike by mistakenly joining picket line: ‘Will work for food!’
HOLLYWOOD—Privileged writers and studio executives are celebrating today after a homeless man inadvertently ended the 100+ day strike between the...
BREAKING: Eminem sends cease and desist to the white M&Ms to stop imitating him
In a stunning turn of events, rap superstar Eminem has reportedly sent a cease and desist letter to the iconic...
CNN corrects problematic MLK ‘I Have a Dream’ speech for modern audience
ATLANTA—CNN producers have corrected the deeply problematic "I Have a Dream" speech by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. along...
